As a filmmaker, I have been entranced by Sofia Coppola. “Lost in Translation” was one of my favorite movies, not only for the way it captured the beauty of Tokyo, but also for the many ways it indicated people having a hard time communicating with each other. I was even one of the few who enjoyed the decadence of “Marie Antoinette.” It seemed to say a lot of things about the French queen and indie music at the same time. Plus, it was also visually stunning.
I should have been forewarned about “Somewhere.” The opening shot is someone (unclear who) driving a fancy expensive car, basically in circles. Very fast. For like ten minutes. I should have walked out at that moment. Cause that pretty much is the movie, right there.
The rest of it is this: Handsome superstar action hero actor bunks up at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont, and you see his decadent life. How naked women parade in and out of his life, through the hallways sometimes. They appear to amuse him, dancing nakedly, while he mostly falls asleep. They appear to have sexual trysts with him. Then disappear. It’s an endless parade.
All of this is well and good, until suddenly his daughter appears to stay with him. Puts a bit of a crimp in his plans. So now he plays Wii and hangs by the pool and orders pizza. And wow. Isn’t this fun?
Then, they take a jaunt to Venice for a movie premiere where luscious Italian beauties also thrust themselves at him. They hang out at an Italian pool.
He comes back. Some friends come over. They leave.
This is basically the movie.
Oh poor overpaid baby. Have to suffer with Chateau Marmont’s room service. His daughter gets industrious and actually makes food in his kitchen. (I did enjoy Elle Fanning as his daughter.) Stephen Dorff is the actor.
Maybe I’m jaded because I see too many people living variations of this in Hollywood, or aspiring to variations of this. Maybe I’m bored with a movie about nothing. We get it. Everyone is alienated from each other, and boo hoo, celebrities most of all.
The big revelation of the movie, yes, I’m going to SPOIL it for you now, such as it is: at the end of the movie, he decides to move out of the Chateau Marmont. He drives his car. Somewhere. And leaves it. And starts walking.
I guess supposed to symbolize this man actually taking a stand and doing something with his life. In reality, like the rest of the movie, it just emphasizes how bored and stupid and superfluous his actions are.
Sorry, Sofia, this one bored me to tears.